How Do I Become a Godly Man?

1 Peter 1:13-16,  Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;  (14)  As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:  (15)  But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;  (16)  Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

This passage of scripture is God’s standard for our lives.

One of the questions that men often ask me is, “How do I become a godly man?”  This week I was thinking about how much I love the men of our church.  I see so much potential and yet many times the potential of people just gets stymied.  It is my utmost goal to see every one be the man God wants you to be. It is my desire to help you, pray with you, and for you, with that area of your life. So, I wanted to take this time to share with you some of the characteristics and accompanying scripture to help spur you on to be the kind of man God created you to be. This is important. Other lives spiritually will depend on you – your wife, your children, and even other church members. Your testimony for God needs to be sure and faithful.

1 Corinthians 4:2, Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.

  1. You must know the Lord as Saviour. Nothing works without that. Many times a person will say they are saved, but their life testimony does not show that.  It is like Lot. Horrible things happened in his life and his children’s lives because he loved the world.  If Peter had not told us so we would have thought he was a lost man.  However, everyone around him suffered great wickedness and disastrous results because of his desire for the world.

Let there be no question about your testimony that you really are a saved man and you show that with the decisions of your life. If you are not saved let us help you to know that if you died today you would go to heaven.

Don’t be the person who said you were saved, but your life does not show it.  Or if you are a person who has made a profession of faith, but your life does not really show any desire for God, the things of God, are you really saved?  Many times people who struggle for years spiritually just have not truly been born again.

Matthew 7:22-27, Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?  (23)  And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.  (24)  Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:  (25) And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.  (26)  And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:  (27)  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

Make sure you are really saved and there is no doubt about that. If not it will affect your house and the ruin will be great.

On Father’s day I talked about some commitments men have to make in their lives.

  1. The commitment to the Word of God and to be teachable will be your most important commitment after your salvation. You need to have a real desire for the Word of God. That does not come without a real, intimate, personal, and passionate relationship with God. That does not come unless we are willing to humble ourselves before God and ask Him to teach us.

Psalms 119:4-18, Thou hast commanded us to keep thy precepts diligently.  (5)  O that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes!  (6)  Then shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandments.  (7)  I will praise thee with uprightness of heart, when I shall have learned thy righteous judgments.  (8)  I will keep thy statutes: O forsake me not utterly.  (9) Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.  (10)  With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.  (11)  Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.  (12)  Blessed art thou, O LORD: teach me thy statutes.  (13)  With my lips have I declared all the judgments of thy mouth.  (14)  I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches.  (15)  I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways.  (16)  I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word.  (17) Deal bountifully with thy servant, that I may live, and keep thy word. (18) Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.

Ask God to teach you daily. Always ask God questions (it is the essence of the Christian life) so you can see your blind spots.  Let the Spirit of God make his word real to you.

I said on Father’s Day a godly man teaches his family to love the Lord’s house, to love their local church, to be faithful to hear God’s Word preached. Don’t play with this; it will be a ruin to your life and home and a poor testimony to others.  People believe they can be spiritual and abstain from the Lord’s house.  They are deceived and Satan has done a job of deception on them. Illustration: Tony had to fly to North Carolina for a work assignment. He wanted to be in prayer meeting on Wednesday night. He and his family prayed about it and made every effort to be back. He did not want to be a poor testimony to his family and his church.  His plane was to arrive about 8:30 p.m. He went early to the airport and was willing to pay $380.00 personally to change his ticket. The airline decided to give him the change of ticket for free and even owed him $3.00 for the change! God answered his prayer and his family’s prayer because of his desire to be faithful in the house of God. We need men who are making an effort to be faithful! Gentlemen, I submit to you, you are not a godly man if you are consistently abstaining from the house of God. If you love the Word of God you will make every effort to be in the house of God.

1 Corinthians 4:2, Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.

  1. Be a humble man. Pride will destroy you and your home.

James 4:6-10, But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.  (7)  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  (8)  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.  (9)  Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.  (10)  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

Make humility be the real desire of your life – not to just say it. It is real with God!  A humble man has the right spirit, and he is focused, not on a worldly life, but exalting His Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ: in words, in action, and in testimony. A man is not a humble man until he is willing to humble himself before God first!

  1. Be a man, a person who shows true Biblical love. Care about others. Be responsible to share truth with people.  Love does not mean we compromise with sin, excuse sin, or wallow with others in their sin.

1 John 5:1-4, Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God: and every one that loveth him that begat loveth him also that is begotten of him.  (2)  By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.  (3)  For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.  (4)  For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.

The greatest need of this hour is not to be a sympathy person.  Sympathy people want to wallow with you in your sins and want you to wallow with them in their sins, and nothing ever changes. That is not true Biblical love. We care about people, but we are responsible to share the truth of the Word of God with them, not be a person who wallows with people in their sin.  We can share the truth in a kind way, but we are not to be deceived about the spiritual condition of those around us who live lives that are worldly.

Romans 12:2, tells the story.

Romans 12:2,  And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Gentlemen, you are either “conformed to the world” (worldly) or you are seeking “transformation.” There is no in between! God’s desire is for you to Biblically change your life by being a teachable person. You are to submit yourself and allow the Holy Spirit to teach you!

Romans 13:8-10, Owe no man anything, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. (9) For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.  (10)  Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

  1. Be committed to your wife and children. Your wife more than anyone else needs you to love her and be committed to her, not just to pay the bills but true Biblical love. Lead her to the house of God. Encourage her spiritually to be faithful. Spend time in the Word with her. Ask her what God is teaching her. Be proactive spiritually not slothful and non-caring. Be positive with your wife and children. Make sure your wife knows you love her.  I tell Kim every day that I love her! I never want her to ever believe that there might be the slightest chance I do not love her.  Be merciful with her.  Love does not mean compromise, but it should be merciful.  Everybody has rough days.  Everybody needs to be encouraged. Be an encourager of your wife. Show her true Biblical love in action.  Do the same with your children. To love your wife and children properly you must be a Spirit controlled person.

Ephesians 5:25-29, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;(26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, (27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.  (28)  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  (29)  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Guys, don’t provoke your children to wrath, by being absent or disobedient in their lives.

Ephesians 6:4-6 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  (5) Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;(6)  Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;

 A godly man serves God because of a right heart with God and with others!

  1. Last of all, don’t let bitterness get a root in your life. Ask God if there is any bitterness in your life every day.  Otherwise, horrible things will happen.  Do you have bitterness in your heart today because you are not correctable? Remember humility!  Don’t let bitterness and selfishness become a stumbling block to you.  Deal with it and turn it over to God. Remember to identify it, by asking God to search your heart daily. Many men are deceived and on the wayside today because bitterness in their heart has made them overly sensitive, jealous, critical, always having an excuse, disobedient, and unfaithful.

Jeremiah 17:9-10, The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?  (10)  I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

Allow God to search your heart daily!

Proverbs 28:26, He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.

I want to close with this today.  I want each of you to know I love you.  It is our greatest desire to help you to live a holy life.  You may not always like what I am telling you, but I will share the truth with you, because I love you.  How you respond will tell something about you.  Are you desiring to be the man God wants you to be?  Remember, He loves you as well!  Don’t be deceived.  Let God speak to your heart today.  Let Him help you to be His man in your home.  Our churches can use faithful and godly men.  Be that man for your home, for your church, and for your God!

Here is God’s standard for our lives.  Where are you in your life as a godly man?

1 Peter 1:13-16,  Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;  (14)  As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:  (15)  But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;  (16)  Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

Editor’s note: This article was originally published at Hope Biblical Counseling Center Blog.  Used by permission.

Dr. Terry Coomer

Dr. Terry Coomer is the Pastor of Hope Baptist Church, North Little Rock-Sherwood, AR. He has served as a Pastor, home missionary, Bible College teacher, Director of Hope Biblical Counseling Center, and as the publisher of the nation’s fastest growing daily newspaper. He has more than 38 years successful experience as a Pastor and holds four degrees with a Bachelor of Arts in Bible, Graduate in Theology, Master of Theology, and a Doctor of Theology degree. Dr. and Mrs. Coomer have two adult daughters, who are married, and three precious granddaughters.

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